I was poking through an old e-mail archive today and came across something I wrote in my last self-evaluation at Shawmut.

I’m passionate about what I do. With an arsenal of good experience, I have some very strong opinions about the way things should be done. Having worked in a few really good IT departments, I’m a strong proponent of segregation of duties and a good software development lifecycle.  I believe in best practices, and I get frustrated when we ignore best practices.

You know what? I stand by those words.

The last couple of days have been rough emotionally. I have to confess that I’m on some meds that are certainly messing with my emotions right now. Yesterday, my former employer started cutting staff. Over the last two days, countless friends have lost their jobs. I’m feeling incredibly thankful that I do have a good job right now. Had I not taken my new job, I could have been one of those casualties.

It’s hard to articulate why this is so upsetting unless you’ve worked there. Shawmut is the first place I ever worked where the culture actually meant something. In fact, at my interview, the recruiter, Johanna, said something I’ll never forget. She said “Our culture is everything. Without our culture, we’re nothing.” And that’s really how the company operates. It’s an exhausting place to work, and the people will drive you crazy. And they’ll give you the last dollar in their wallet if you need it. In my almost four years there, I never heard anybody say “That’s not my job.” That would just be treasonous. Working there is hard. Expectations are ridiculously high. And people exceed them. Everything is about pleasing the client, and every person in the company has a vested interest in the success of the company. That’s hard work. And Shawmut takes care of its people. I went to a lot training. They don’t even blink at training because they see the value in investing in people.  They have built a community in their people, which is not an easy thing to do.

When I first moved to Providence and then Boston, I didn’t know many people. Shawmut became my family in a lot of ways. These are more than just former coworkers. 

That was my Shawmut experience. And that’s why I grieve today for my friends.

Sometimes traditions can be fun. Every year, my Aunt Doris includes a letter with her Christmas cards. It’s her way of sharing the past year’s events with family an friends. I love doing this. It’s a labor of love, but it’s a great way to look back at the previous year.

This is the letter that went out with my cards this year. Yes, a big bunch of my Christmas cards are already in the mail. Since I moved this year, I want to make sure my family has the current address. Unfortunately, I do have to send two different versions of the letter. The italicized paragraph was left out from some family letters. People in the PugVillage card exchange didn’t get the letter. They can read it online.

Greetings from Salem, Massachusetts.

Over the past year, we’ve heard President-Elect Obama use the word Change an awful lot. Change has also been my companion the past year. 

As we were winding down the 2007-2008 New England winter, I decided it was time to move out of my East Boston apartment that had been my home for close to two years. It was a diverse neighborhood that was close to a lot, but I lived in an ancient building that seemed to invite furry little critters to make a home there. In mid-March, Reggie and I packed up and moved to Salem, about 15 miles north of Boston. We’re in a fantastic two bedroom condo. The woman who owns it needs someone to take care of it because it’s not the right time for her to sell. It’s a ten minute walk to the commuter train, which puts me in Boston in about 30 minutes. 

Two weeks after I moved in, I had surgery to remove my gal bladder. With everything still in boxes, my mom and dad arrived to take care of us for a few days. For the first time in my life, my parents were able to visit me and stay at my house. That was such a great feeling. While I recovered, my dad took care of Reggie, and my mom started unpacking my kitchen. She didn’t have to do that, and I completely appreciate that she did. 

Reggie and I live in the downstairs unit of a three-story house, with two great guys living in the upstairs unit, each with a dog. I couldn’t ask for better neighbors. Between the three of us we have a Pug, a yellow Lab, and a German Shepherd. I love where I’m living. It’s got a cook’s kitchen, and nothing makes me happier than having my friends over and being able to feed them a good meal. I get that from Grandma Hillwig, for sure. 

In late June, I found myself interviewing for a new job. It wasn’t something I had been planning, but the job market was pretty attractive for me. I said goodbye to some amazing people that had been more than coworkers for close to four years. They had become my friends.  Leaving was hard, but I knew I was doing the right thing. I’m now working for a company called Acme Packet, who makes equipment used by telecom companies. It’s a good company with good leadership. More importantly, it’s given me the opportunity to fill some gaps in my skillset. 

Two weeks after I started at Acme, my mom and dad brought Sarah up to visit for her birthday. It was a fantastic weekend, and we took her on a whale watching cruise. She’s still talking about it, and frankly, so am I. We had a great day out on the Atlantic. Sarah also got to see Boston, visit the New England Aquarium, and of course, she got to play with Reggie. We had a birthday cake for her and everything. 

In September, I did something crazy. I auditioned for the Boston Gay Men’s Chorus. Not having sung in public since my sister got married ten years ago, the old pipes were a little rusty. But I must have something good because I’m singing with them. This has been such a positive experience for me. Not only am I part of a well-known and well-respected group that produces amazing music, I’ve made a lot of really good friends.  My first concert with the chorus will be in Provincetown on December 6. Our big Boston concerts are coming up a week after that. Darcie, Dave, and Sarah are coming up for that, and I’m ecstatic that they’re coming. This is why I’m wearing a tuxedo in the picture. Since I needed to buy a tuxedo for chorus performances, I bought one for Reggie. It makes a cute card, I think.   

And then there is Halloween in Salem. Halloween is a month-long event here, and we hunkered down to get through the tourist insanity. Halloween was on a Friday this year, and I did walk through the crowd to visit my friends’ annual gathering. I just don’t have the words to describe how crazy it is. Most of the month is much more family-friendly, and there is a lot to do for kids. It’s just that one night that gets insane.  Halloween has passed us, and now we can have our sleepy little town back for another eleven months. 

Everybody always asks about my health. Generally speaking, it’s good. I did have one serious relapse with my MS recently that was rough. My neurologist, who I absolutely adore, put me on a steroid regimen for a few days that required outpatient IV infusion. It wasn’t fun, but it was necessary. If MS has taught me anything, it’s that I have to listen to my body and learn when to take it easy. I turn into a pumpkin earlier than I used to. I nap when I need to. It sure beats the alternative. 

We’re doing well and hope you are, too. From Salem, Reggie and I wish you the warmest of Christmases.

I talked to my sister last night. She, Dave (future brother-in-law), and Sarah are coming up for the BGMC concert in December. I was really hoping she could talk the parents into coming, too, but that’s not going to happen this year. My mom is a florist, and this is a peak season for her. I’m not sure how much of it is the business and how much is their discomfort with my singing with a gay group. At this point, I’m not sure I care. My family will be here, and that’s what matters. Having Sarah at my concert is incredibly important to me, and just typing this brings me to tears. My sister says she’s going to buy Sarah a pretty new dress to wear to the concert. We’ll make sure we get photos of her with Uncle Mike in his tux.

My sister did ask if the music would be appropriate for a nine year old. It’s all Christmas/holiday music. There is one piece, called What Matters, which is from the Matthew Shephard story. Everything else is holiday-related, and the whole theme is Stars. One of our pieces has an entire movement based on Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, and it’s stunning. At this point, my favorite piece has got to be Come and See the King, which goes all gospel choir. We have another piece that’s a capella and entirely in Latin. It’s incredibly difficult and sounds amazing.

So the age appropriateness of the concert isn’t a big deal. My sister will have some other explaining to do, but Sarah’s a pretty smart kid. And I don’t think it’ll phase her too much.

I had a pretty amazing weekend. With that one sentence, it could be the end of this entry, but I guess a few details are in order.

This weekend, I had a date. It was supposed to be Saturday afternoon/evening. He left this morning. We cooked, ate, watched movies, walked around Salem, played with Reggie, and just had a good time. He loves Reggie, and Reggie absolutely adores him.

I’ve already blogged about Saturday’s dinner. Last night, we started with more of the bread and olive oil, and then a salad topped with a really thick vinaigrette I made in my magic bullet. He made a meatloaf that was absolutely fantastic, arguably better than my mom’s. He was craving homemade fries with malt vinegar. I made fries. They were okay—not great, but okay. We did find gluten free malt vinegar.

So yeah, it was a good time. My thinking at the moment is this: Lets see where this goes.

I had my first date with Scott last night and invited him up for dinner. What does one do for a first date? Well, let me tell you.

First, I instinctively followed Ina Garten (the Barefoot Contessa)‘s rules for entertaining. I didn’t even realize I had done this until we were just about to sit down to eat. She says to prepare one thing, cook one thing, and then buy/assemble the rest. That’s exactly what I did. Another Ina tidbit is that when people are expecting some fancy, elaborate menu, give them something comfortable and homey. That’s the time for roasted chickens, spaghetti and meatballs, meatloaf, or chicken noodle soup.

I started with some garlic/herb focaccia bread from Whole Foods.  I served it with some of the blood orange olive oil from Stonehouse in California. That was absolutely delightful.

For a vegetable, I served from roasted broccoli. We both like broccoli, so it was a hit. I just cut it into pieces, tossed it with some olive oil, salt and pepper, and then roasted it at 400 degrees for about 15 minutes, just as it was starting to brown. It had great flavor, was cooked, yet still had some crunch to it.

And the big thing I prepared was homemade chicken noodle soup, including the homemade noodles. (They weren’t as thick this time, Liz) This was a total hit. I spent all day on the soup, starting with roasting the chicken in the morning and then spending over four hours on the stock.  (That’s another Ina thing—if you’re going to use chicken stock, make good, homemade sauce.) My soup was quite good. The stock totally made the soup.

For dessert, I served brownies. I wanted thick, decadent bakery brownies, but I couldn’t find what I wanted. I topped the brownies with some Dulce de Leche Sauce from Stonewall Kitchen. I also had a jar of Ina Garten’s Decadent Fudge Sauce, but that will be for another time. I had ice cream for the brownies, but we skipped that.

I have to say that this was a meal I’m proud of, and there is plenty of soup to put in the freezer.

I’ve just upgraded my blog to Expression Engine 1.6.5.

I saw the preview for EE2.0, and it looks really sexy.

My Pill Organizer
Originally uploaded by mikehillwig

I swear, I’m not turning into one of those little old ladies who needs to be reminded when to take her pills. In fact, quite the opposite. As I was buying this thing today, I had an “OMG, I’ve become Grandma Hillwig” moments.

But as I said in a previous blog entry, I’m on a lot of meds right now. It would really suck if I took the wrong meds too many or too few times a day. So this thing will help me sort out my meds, a week in advance, and life should be good.

I also bought a couple of little boxes so that I can take my “noon” meds to work with me and not need to take the whole weeks worth of meds with me.

Okay, maybe I have become a little old lady.

My neurologist is absolutely amazing. Dr. Marion Stein at the MS Clinic of Beth Israel Deconess Medical Center never ceases to amaze me.  She’s kind of old school, and I trust her completely.  I’ve been dealing with some issues, and she gave me the option of some heavy steroid therapy.

I’m on my third day at the Infusion Unit at BIDMC. This is my third daily dose of 1 gram of Solumedrol as an IV drip over four hours each day. That will be followed by an 11 day taper of oral Prednisone. I do three days of 80 MG, three days of 60 MG, three days of 40 MG, and two days of 20 MG.

As you look at the article about the steroids, you’ll see there are some pretty intense side effects. My neurologist, being as good as she is, has me on some other stuff to deal with that.  First, I’m on a light dose of lithium to help take off the edge and irritability. She also has me on Serax to help me sleep at night. That stuff is amazing.

I start the oral prednisone on Saturday, and Dr. Stein did warn me that I’ll probably crash on Sunday.  She gave me out of work until Wednesday, but if I’m out past Monday, I have to use my short term disability, and that means I lose a week of pay. I plan on going back to work on Tuesday, meaning if I miss Wednesday, I use my sick time.

In other news, I have a date tomorrow night.

I went to see my neurologist this morning. I can’t say it was the best visit we’ve ever had. Lately, I’ve been having some fatigue, which has gotten a little better, but I’m having some issues with my vision, and some serious issues with my balance.

Tomorrow, I’m going to be going into BIDMC in the morning for steroid infusion. It’s a three day outpatient thing, so I’ll be out of work at least until Monday. I’m not thrilled about this, but it’s the right thing to do.

The good news in this is that since the fatigue is getting better, she thinks I may be on the upswing of this attack.