I was wrong about something. The worst part of business travel is the return back to the office. No matter how connected we are with our PDAs, wireless network connections, VPNs, mobile phones and other misc. tech toys, something always happens while we’re out of the office. At least it does to me. Somehow, I always spend at least a day mopping up whatever “broke” while I was gone. Last time I was gone, my boss changed a system password because it was “wrong” meaning it wasn’t what was in his master spreadsheet of passwords, one that I don’t have access to and can’t update. This time it was duplicate records found in a system that have been there for ages and suddenly became an issue while I was away.
Stuff like this makes me want to never take a vacation day again. I just hope this reflects well on my review, which is supposed to be Thursday. I know one thing that’s going to hurt me this time around is my focus. I don’t focus well when I have things coming at me from multiple directions. When that happens, whatever catches my attention last is what seems to get done. I have a coworker who seems to know this little flaw in my system and exploits it. All of the work she needs me to get done seems to get completed because she nags me so I’ll do it right then and there. I’ve asked my boss to send her away for a two-week basket weaving class. I’m not kidding. I forwarded him the eight e-mails I got from her over a six hour period of stuff that needed to be done. I offered to send everything that came up last week to further demonstrate my point, but I think he got it.
I’m nervous about my review. Sure, I’m good at what I do. When I do something, my work is top-notch. But my lack of focus and my frustration with people is going to hurt me this time around. At the same time, I do expect a nice raise this time around. I’m way too valuable to the company to leave for better money. And right now, I don’t want to leave the company. I like what I do and the people with whom I work. They money just isn’t what it should be. I could easily whore myself out, selling my soul, and making good money at the same time.
I don’t know. I’m just really frustrated right now, not just with work, but with life in general. My stress level is up and my MS is kicking my ass. Just getting over the flu isn’t helping that, either. I had a dizzy spell today. It’s common with MS, but it still sucks. There is one thing that makes me feel better when I’m stressed like this—Reggie kisses. Pugs have a way of making me feel better.